I really shouldn't be working any job that has even a small customer service aspect. I should be working behind closed doors, far away from the general public. I can barely interact with the public in non-service-oriented situations, such as driving, or going to a movie.
Today, someone gave me a message. Let's call that someone Person A. Person A wants me to call Person B and give them the message. I didn't totally understand the message Person A was giving me, and I asked further questions about it. Person A disregarded me, didn't really answer the question, and didn't seem to want to. So I assume that Person B will know what I'm talking about when I give the message.
We all know what happens when you assume.
So as I'm giving the message to Person B, they don't understand it either, and ask me further questions. Now I look like a complete dumbass and I'm stumbling and apologizing. I look like a tool when I say apologetically, "that's all I was told." Because I am simply a human message machine and have no thoughts of my own. I have to put Person B on hold and go ask a random person, Person C, if they can help me understand this. Person C calls the original Person A. I can hear Person A bitching on the phone about how I was told to relay this message.
What Person A doesn't remember (because they have an extremely poor memory), is that I have a very good memory. I know EXACTLY what I was told and I repeated it word-for-word. It's not MY fault that the message was incomplete and didn't make any sense to anyone, and it's not MY fault that Person A chose not to explain it to me after I asked for clarification.
Person A seems to think I am a complete dumbass most of the time, but I can assure you, Person A, that while there may be two assholes in this situation, one of them is a SMARTass, and it's not you.
The following is what I would like to say to Person A, if I only could.
Dear Person A,
You are a complete dumbass. I wish I could make you understand how dumb you are, but you wouldn't get it even if I drew you a picture. Contrary to your belief, I am not psychic. And I am also not a computer, I do not have magical fairies that can make stuff appear the second you want it, and I am not your servant.
You are barely literate. Your scribbles are not only barely legible, but what is written doesn't make sense most of the time. Your spelling is frightening. I truly believe that you are borderline retarded. There seems to be an inverse relationship between your work ethic and your success. Your existence makes me question the laws of the Universe, God, Karma and all things American, because no one as stupid and arrogant as you deserves to have anything nice. Everyone else picks up your slack and fixes your mistakes, and despairs over your total lack of judgement and communication skills. You make the same errors over and over again. You don't care if you piss people off. You don't care that I have to deal with the people you piss off.
One day, I plan to break free of this circus of idiocy. I am smarter than you, I work harder than you, and one day, I will reign triumphant over you. And I will rub it in your face so hard that your eyes will bleed.
One day, you shall endure a firestorm of my awesomeness.
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