I'm feeling pretty smug, since a week ago I wondered when Joe Calderone was going to make his first live appearance. I wasn't disappointed.
Joe explains his appearance at the VMAS:
I liked that Joe stayed in character for the whole show. But what I liked BEST was just how uncomfortable it seemed to make a lot of people. Some of the dumbstruck stares in the audience were simply priceless. Lady Gaga is often dismissed as a shock artist, but I'm not sure why that's such a bad thing, really.
"In fashion, you know you have succeeded when there is an element of upset." - Coco Chanel
If she is a shock artist, so be it. She's good at it. (I would prefer to call it "pushing the envelope", but call it what you will.) And underneath it all, she is truly a good musician. How many other pop superstars write their own music? I don't think you can dismiss her styles and antics as supports for weak music. She knows how to churn out pop hits. And as for the extras... what's so wrong with being entertained? It's not a band-aid for the music, it's an embellishment. It's all part of a performance, which I think Joe proved perfectly last night.
"I'm not real. I'm theater." - Gaga, quoted by Joe
Monday, August 29, 2011
Sunday, August 21, 2011
I'm so gay for Lady Gaga
I've had a girl crush on Lady Gaga for a long time, but now that she's gone and transformed into Joe Calderone, I'm even more...what's the word... titillated?
*robot voice* Feelings are confusing. Does not compute. Sensory overload... system shutdown imminent!
(Note to Gaga superfans: yes, I know she came up with the Joe persona a while ago, but it was for an overseas publication and she never came out and said it was definitely her.)
The cover for You and I, and the video, is the first time she's rolled out Joe in the US and quite frankly I'm very surprised it's not making more of a splash. I mean, she makes out with Joe (er, herself?) in the video. If I was the kind of person who is genuinely shocked by Gaga, I would have been super shocked by that. Maybe everyone is just so used to her doing outlandish stuff that they're not paying attention anymore?
I'm so far down the Gaga rabbit hole that it really doesn't matter to me what she does, I'll pretty much perceive everything as absolutely awesome and brilliant. So I freely admit I've lost all objectivity.
Oh well.
Nostalgia strikes again
If I have such bad nostalgia now, in my early 30's, I can only imagine how bad it's going to get when I'm older.
I snapped this picture of a beat up old Ford truck I was following the other day, because I noticed something special about it.
HELLO, that is a Mountain Park bumper sticker! The park closed in, what, 1988? I wanted to high-five the driver.
I'm sure no one outside of Western Mass has any idea of what Mountain Park was, so just know that it was an awesome old-fashioned amusement park. It burned down when I was a kid, but not before it burned a lot of memories and images onto my brain. It was happy and cheery by day, but at night it took on kind of a creepy vibe... just the way amusement parks ought to, in my opinion.
I snapped this picture of a beat up old Ford truck I was following the other day, because I noticed something special about it.
HELLO, that is a Mountain Park bumper sticker! The park closed in, what, 1988? I wanted to high-five the driver.
I'm sure no one outside of Western Mass has any idea of what Mountain Park was, so just know that it was an awesome old-fashioned amusement park. It burned down when I was a kid, but not before it burned a lot of memories and images onto my brain. It was happy and cheery by day, but at night it took on kind of a creepy vibe... just the way amusement parks ought to, in my opinion.
Wednesday, August 17, 2011
The most frustrating thing in the world
Sometimes I get frustrated with life. With the world. With people.
But sometimes I have to take a breather and remember that everything will be OK. Everything can be fixed. There are LOTS of worse situations I could be in.
For instance... pretty much the most infuriating, frustrating thing I can imagine is being on death row, and you've come to accept your fate and are ready to meet your maker, and then..... you get a crappy last meal.
Like if you wanted steak, and it came overcooked. Or ice cream, and they didn't get you right flavor. Or cookies, and they got you the wrong brand, or they were stale, or they forgot the milk.
I can't imagine being more frustrated/sad/angry/filled with despair. So, comparatively, I am having a GREAT day today!
But sometimes I have to take a breather and remember that everything will be OK. Everything can be fixed. There are LOTS of worse situations I could be in.
For instance... pretty much the most infuriating, frustrating thing I can imagine is being on death row, and you've come to accept your fate and are ready to meet your maker, and then..... you get a crappy last meal.
Like if you wanted steak, and it came overcooked. Or ice cream, and they didn't get you right flavor. Or cookies, and they got you the wrong brand, or they were stale, or they forgot the milk.
I can't imagine being more frustrated/sad/angry/filled with despair. So, comparatively, I am having a GREAT day today!
The gift of dreams
Someone at work brought in peaches from their backyard, and that made the memory of the dreams I was having last night flash back in great detail.
I dreamed I was riding a large, strong gray horse. He was galloping fast over fields and then we were surging uphill, towards the foothills of a great mountain. When we slowed down to stop, we were surrounded by peach trees. The peaches were golden and dewy and shimmering, practically glowing. I spun around looking at all the beautiful trees and their fruit and the sun was glinting in that special way that it does on a late summer day.
I was so overwhelmed with a feeling of joy and wonder that I lifted right off the ground. And in that moment, I felt amazed that I was levitating but there was also the click of memories falling into place. Oh right! I can fly! I had completely forgotten! Thank goodness I remembered!
This happens to me so much in my dreams. I suddenly remember something amazing or wonderful, and I feel so silly for having forgotten about magic, for having forgotten that I can do magical things. Silly me, I forgot I could fly! I think it's a metaphor for depression. I wallow around in it for years and then have an epiphany: oh right, life can be much different than this pit. I forgot.
In my dreams, I usually can levitate, but not fly. This dream was different. At first I was having trouble getting very far off the ground, but then I saw other people floating around the peach grove, so I knew I could do it too. I shifted around and started getting my balance. Oh right, I remember now: lean forward to go up, lean back to do down. Arms out for steering. It was a great feeling.
I'm so glad that dreams exist and that I occassionally get nice ones. What a great gift, really. Perhaps there is a little magic left in the world after all. I am so glad the office peaches jogged my memory. I feel happy now.
I dreamed I was riding a large, strong gray horse. He was galloping fast over fields and then we were surging uphill, towards the foothills of a great mountain. When we slowed down to stop, we were surrounded by peach trees. The peaches were golden and dewy and shimmering, practically glowing. I spun around looking at all the beautiful trees and their fruit and the sun was glinting in that special way that it does on a late summer day.
I was so overwhelmed with a feeling of joy and wonder that I lifted right off the ground. And in that moment, I felt amazed that I was levitating but there was also the click of memories falling into place. Oh right! I can fly! I had completely forgotten! Thank goodness I remembered!
This happens to me so much in my dreams. I suddenly remember something amazing or wonderful, and I feel so silly for having forgotten about magic, for having forgotten that I can do magical things. Silly me, I forgot I could fly! I think it's a metaphor for depression. I wallow around in it for years and then have an epiphany: oh right, life can be much different than this pit. I forgot.
In my dreams, I usually can levitate, but not fly. This dream was different. At first I was having trouble getting very far off the ground, but then I saw other people floating around the peach grove, so I knew I could do it too. I shifted around and started getting my balance. Oh right, I remember now: lean forward to go up, lean back to do down. Arms out for steering. It was a great feeling.
I'm so glad that dreams exist and that I occassionally get nice ones. What a great gift, really. Perhaps there is a little magic left in the world after all. I am so glad the office peaches jogged my memory. I feel happy now.
Monday, August 15, 2011
Drinking is stupid, but necessary
For my life, anyways.
I don't know how much longer I can hold out at my soul sucking job.
Today wasn't even that terrible for me, but it was terrible for my coworker, and she really doesn't deserve it. Some awful woman called her a bitch repeatedly because the customer paid her bill late and got a late fee. She even admitted that she had received a phonecall reminder, but she was "on vacation" so she couldn't do anything about it.
Oh, you were on vacation? Well then, let me just refer to the clause in the contract that states that customers shall be exempt from late fees if they're on vacation.... oh wait! I forgot. There is no such clause.
You'll just have to do what the rest of us do, lady. I pay my bills BEFORE I go on vacation. I don't go on vacation a lot, since I don't have a lot of money, and since I don't have a lot of money, I am pretty careful to pay my bills on time to avoid late fees.
That phrase "the customer is always right" is a horrible catchphrase that has caught on with American consumers and over the last few decades, seems to have made people think that they can act however they want in any setting. They think that because they are a customer they have the right to scream obscenities at staff people? To belittle them, to threaten "I'll have you job over this" when the person is only DOING their job?
It's ridiculous and it's out of control. Sure, there is lots of justifiable rage directed at unfeeling corporations. I get that. I've been there. But when something is your own fucking fault? Own up to it. Asking politely for a fee to be waived is one thing. Calling the staffperson a fucking bitch and asking "How do you get through life being such a bitch?" is another thing entirely.
You catch more flies with honey, Honey.
I thought behaviour was bad in restaurants and foodservice establishments. Where the customers think that the employees are little better than scumsucking dirt. I thought that going to work in a nice, modern, professional office, people might behave a little better. Wow, was I wrong!
People can't do math. People don't listen to reason. People don't care about logical arguments. People act like selfish bratty children in public and have no shame.
I don't like drinking, it's not good for me, but for god's sakes... I don't know how I would get through life without a cold one at the end of a long day in which I am not getting paid nearly enough to have my soul shredded to pieces every day by these idiots.
I don't know how much longer I can hold out at my soul sucking job.
Today wasn't even that terrible for me, but it was terrible for my coworker, and she really doesn't deserve it. Some awful woman called her a bitch repeatedly because the customer paid her bill late and got a late fee. She even admitted that she had received a phonecall reminder, but she was "on vacation" so she couldn't do anything about it.
Oh, you were on vacation? Well then, let me just refer to the clause in the contract that states that customers shall be exempt from late fees if they're on vacation.... oh wait! I forgot. There is no such clause.
You'll just have to do what the rest of us do, lady. I pay my bills BEFORE I go on vacation. I don't go on vacation a lot, since I don't have a lot of money, and since I don't have a lot of money, I am pretty careful to pay my bills on time to avoid late fees.
That phrase "the customer is always right" is a horrible catchphrase that has caught on with American consumers and over the last few decades, seems to have made people think that they can act however they want in any setting. They think that because they are a customer they have the right to scream obscenities at staff people? To belittle them, to threaten "I'll have you job over this" when the person is only DOING their job?
It's ridiculous and it's out of control. Sure, there is lots of justifiable rage directed at unfeeling corporations. I get that. I've been there. But when something is your own fucking fault? Own up to it. Asking politely for a fee to be waived is one thing. Calling the staffperson a fucking bitch and asking "How do you get through life being such a bitch?" is another thing entirely.
You catch more flies with honey, Honey.
I thought behaviour was bad in restaurants and foodservice establishments. Where the customers think that the employees are little better than scumsucking dirt. I thought that going to work in a nice, modern, professional office, people might behave a little better. Wow, was I wrong!
People can't do math. People don't listen to reason. People don't care about logical arguments. People act like selfish bratty children in public and have no shame.
I don't like drinking, it's not good for me, but for god's sakes... I don't know how I would get through life without a cold one at the end of a long day in which I am not getting paid nearly enough to have my soul shredded to pieces every day by these idiots.
Friday, August 12, 2011
Learning is for life.
(cue "The More You Know" music)
It's so true: you learn something new every day. What did you learn today?
I learned that there are rave-ready wheelchairs. I saw a woman traveling down the sidewalk tonight walking her dog. Her motorized wheelchair had these awesome colorful flashing lights on the wheels. It was surely for safety in the dark, but wow, it was the most rad wheelchair I'd ever seen.
It's so true: you learn something new every day. What did you learn today?
I learned that there are rave-ready wheelchairs. I saw a woman traveling down the sidewalk tonight walking her dog. Her motorized wheelchair had these awesome colorful flashing lights on the wheels. It was surely for safety in the dark, but wow, it was the most rad wheelchair I'd ever seen.
Wednesday, August 3, 2011
WE ARE SAVED! (I think?)
The whole "debt ceiling" thing really aggravated me. To be honest, I didn't even read that much about it. I know enough to know that we are deep in debt and pretty much screwed and I just can't bring myself to care.
I think as I get older and more jaded, I am becoming more and more likely to get on a bandwagon with conspiracy theorists, because I think the whole thing was basically a big marketing ploy by the government to get people scared, and trick them into thinking that we are so lucky that we are still governed. Remember not that long ago, the government was threatening to shut down entirely because they couldn't agree on a budget? Does ANYONE remember that? And here we are again... Round 2: Debt Version.
Here's how I see it:
Citizens: Everything sucks! The economy sucks! The rich are getting richer, and us poor are getting poorer! The government is messing up bad! We're angry, we should, like, revolt or something!!!
Government: Yes, that's nice, feel free to write us a letter, or.... wait, what's this? Oh no! There is a big crisis! Like, wicked big! This debt ceiling thing is really bad!
Citizens: Um, what? Debt ceiling? What's wrong, is it leaking?
Government: It's super complicated! Only we can fix this. But it's a very difficult problem, so we are going to need to fight about it for a long time. We are going to yell a bunch about how we're trying to protect our constituents and keep the country from going bankrupt. It could happen, you know!
Citizens: Bankrupt? Yeah, I know things aren't good, but... tell me again, how does this debt roof thingy affect me?
Government: If us lawmakers, the leaders of the free world, don't come up with a BRILLIANT plan soon, everything is going to hell! The US will be bankrupt! The dollar will fall against other currencies and we won't be able to keep borrowing to fund everything. The government and economy will collapse! No more Social Security or disability or unemployment checks will go out because we'll be BROKE!
Citizens: Oh crap! Really?
Government: Yes, really.
Citizens: *panics* omg you mean I won't get my check? I need my check, man!
Government: We told you this was bad! We weren't kidding you, dude!
Citizens: OMFG. You gotta fix this! The government won't just abandon me... will it? Oh god, I was such a fool for joining that anarchy group! Government is really important! How are you guys going to fix this? FIX IT, PLEASE! Pretty pretty please!
Government: We'll try our best, kid. We're gonna shout at each really dramatically until our throats are hoarse. We're gonna burn the midnight oil. We're gonna step up to the plate and be the LEADERS you elected.
Citizens: Well golly gee, I sure hope so! I don't understand anything about this MAJOR CRISIS but I sure am scared!!
Government: *wiping sweat off brow* GREAT NEWS! We pulled it off. By god, we pulled it off, by the skin of our teeth. It's not perfect, of course, nothing ever is, right? But we saved the country from certain doom. AGAIN. You're welcome.
Citizens: Yay!!!!
I think as I get older and more jaded, I am becoming more and more likely to get on a bandwagon with conspiracy theorists, because I think the whole thing was basically a big marketing ploy by the government to get people scared, and trick them into thinking that we are so lucky that we are still governed. Remember not that long ago, the government was threatening to shut down entirely because they couldn't agree on a budget? Does ANYONE remember that? And here we are again... Round 2: Debt Version.
Here's how I see it:
Citizens: Everything sucks! The economy sucks! The rich are getting richer, and us poor are getting poorer! The government is messing up bad! We're angry, we should, like, revolt or something!!!
Government: Yes, that's nice, feel free to write us a letter, or.... wait, what's this? Oh no! There is a big crisis! Like, wicked big! This debt ceiling thing is really bad!
Citizens: Um, what? Debt ceiling? What's wrong, is it leaking?
Government: It's super complicated! Only we can fix this. But it's a very difficult problem, so we are going to need to fight about it for a long time. We are going to yell a bunch about how we're trying to protect our constituents and keep the country from going bankrupt. It could happen, you know!
Citizens: Bankrupt? Yeah, I know things aren't good, but... tell me again, how does this debt roof thingy affect me?
Government: If us lawmakers, the leaders of the free world, don't come up with a BRILLIANT plan soon, everything is going to hell! The US will be bankrupt! The dollar will fall against other currencies and we won't be able to keep borrowing to fund everything. The government and economy will collapse! No more Social Security or disability or unemployment checks will go out because we'll be BROKE!
Citizens: Oh crap! Really?
Government: Yes, really.
Citizens: *panics* omg you mean I won't get my check? I need my check, man!
Government: We told you this was bad! We weren't kidding you, dude!
Citizens: OMFG. You gotta fix this! The government won't just abandon me... will it? Oh god, I was such a fool for joining that anarchy group! Government is really important! How are you guys going to fix this? FIX IT, PLEASE! Pretty pretty please!
Government: We'll try our best, kid. We're gonna shout at each really dramatically until our throats are hoarse. We're gonna burn the midnight oil. We're gonna step up to the plate and be the LEADERS you elected.
Citizens: Well golly gee, I sure hope so! I don't understand anything about this MAJOR CRISIS but I sure am scared!!
Government: *wiping sweat off brow* GREAT NEWS! We pulled it off. By god, we pulled it off, by the skin of our teeth. It's not perfect, of course, nothing ever is, right? But we saved the country from certain doom. AGAIN. You're welcome.
Citizens: Yay!!!!
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